Normal Life

So we are nearing the end of our month of attempt at making this pregnancy as routine and enjoyable as possible. I cannot believe we only have 2 weeks left. This month has been nice as we have tried to make everything as “normal” as possible.

Nei.l has finished Trist.an’s quilt, with much thanks to Melissa, our sister in law, for the loaning of her amazing sewing talents. It’s very sweet and I am excited to see Trist.an warm and cozied up in it. McK.enna picked out her gift; a soft little blue puppy, since Ad.ele and she both have puppies that are special to them. My aunt Lila and uncle Kelly sent us a beautiful receiving blanket, crocheted and with his name embroidered on it. And we went to the state fair with one very specific purpose in mind; there is an oriental man that comes and does the Korean picture-letter signs. Ad.ele and McK.enna both have one of their names and we really wanted Trist.an to have his own. But my favorite thing we have done, was maternity pictures.

I have to put a great big thank you out there to a caring stranger named Kristy. She bumped into this blog and offered her time to take some maternity photos. I have always found this type of photography (of other pregnant women) beautiful, but never had the desire concentrate a photo shoot around my overly swollen belly, with my first 2 pregnancies. After reading “Waiting with Gabriel”, I felt a whole new way about it. I felt like if I were to do this for Trist.an, the pictures would be more of him than of me; one more of the limited tangible proofs I could collect that would remind us that Tris.tan was with us.

So we went to Murray Park and did several shots of the girls and of Nei.l with “Trist.an” (aka my huge tummy!) It was so fun and the girls did a great job of it. Then it was time for the one picture I had thought of and personally requested. Before I even knew if doing maternity photos would be an option, I thought I really wanted to get a picture with all the girl’s hands, and maybe Nei.l’s too, on “Tris.tan”. I knew there was no way we were going to be able to get that shot- not with Ad.ele anyway! So then I thought, what if we painted our hands and left hand prints all over? Kristy loved the idea. So there we were in Murray park, painting the girl’s hands in bright primary colors and laying them on my bared stomach. It was very odd to be that exposed but I think these pictures will be my favorite! Then Nei.l had room for one of his huge hands so that covered the whole right side of me! Kristy then painted Trist.an’s name across the top and I was a work of art! I am so excited to see those!











Anyway- again- thank you to Kristy (and her husband) for the time she took for that. It was such a great and fun experience where I think we all felt our worries about Trist.an melt away for a time and we were just able to enjoy him.

Speaking of thank you’s, I have to keep saying, Nei.l and I are so overwhelmed by the outpouring of love, service, concern, kind words, thoughts and prayers for our family. I am amazed at how responsive everyone has been to our needs at this time. I hope I have expressed to each kind act or word, my deepest gratitude. I am afraid that, in my preoccupation with all of the sorrow and sadness of coming events, I have not expressed enough gratitude or joy in the wonderful joys and comforts that people have offered.

It seems so inadequate, but sincerely, Thank you all!

Hope

I was worried about the way the last entry might be taken. I am so grateful for the optimism and support from everyone; for the affirmation in the existence of great miracles of health and healing. The point was more to remind myself, and those who read this that miracles come in many shapes and forms- and not always the one we wish for most.

I had a great conversation with my sister-in-law, An.drea, last week. We were talking about principles of prayer; specifically praying through trials. Her story is not mine to tell, but suffice it to say that she faces a sad trial in here life in which she is trying to figure out her part. Wondering whether she is doing enough on her part or whether she needs to leave it more in the Lord’s hands; whether to pray for and expect a miracle, or to accept what currently is, as the Lord’s will. In these situations, what should we be praying for?

In Relief Society yesterday, we had a great lesson that tied into this dilemna, and had me in tears from the very start. I almost left the room several times throughout, for fear of a sob welling up inside and then escaping for all to hear! Sister Hardman started off by playing the 3rd verse of the song “Which Part is Mine?”, by Michael McLean, in which the narrator of the song goes to prayer for her children, wondering if she has done what she was supposed to for them without taking over the Lord’s part. “Which part is mine? and which part is yours?”

The lesson went on talking about the Lord’s prayer in the garden, when he prayed for the bitter cup to pass from him, but only if it was the Father’s will. And that’s when it occurred to me- maybe I can pray for both what I want, and also for the strength to accept His will if this trial must come to pass and be born. Hope.

After the lesson, when the opportunity was given, I knew I needed to stand and give my testimony. I was already so emotional, I had no intention of talking about our situation with Trist.an. I just wanted to reaffirm, mostly for myself, my testimony of forever families and temple sealings. I did end up sharing Trist.an’s condition though. I thought it would be easier in that setting instead of telling people over and over again as they have been asking me about the gender and the due date and all of the standard questions a pregnant belly begs.

I always wonder when people ask the innocent question “How are you?”, how I should respond. Truthfully, most of the time I am really doing well- but if the person asking knows of the situation, and I do not know that they know, it can be an awkward start to the conversation- “How are you doing?” “You know, I am pretty great today,” and then their skeptical response “Really? Are you sure?” I have found it hard not to read too much into anyone asking me “How are you doing?” There have been a few times I assumed they had been told by someone, just by the tone in their voice, when they had no clue and I kind of just dumped it all on them.

Then there is the other extreme. The people who ask innocent questions and have no clue- and I know they have no clue. I am always at a loss for what to say and usually what I say has no resemblance to what I am thinking! “So when are you due? What are you having?” people ask excitedly. I try to smile, wondering how far this is going to go. I respond “It’s a little boy and he is due in October.” I would smile and be on my way if that were the end of the conversation, but usually it is continued with “Oh, your first boy! you must be so excited, after having 2 girls. This will be a whole new experience!” You have no idea! I am thinking. Usually I am wondering whether to tell the person at this point, to avoid awkward future meetings, or try and slip out with my thoughts about dreading October more than being excited for it, and the fact that after October we will probably be back at the score of girls-2, boys-0 for the Nei.l Wy.att family, still in my head.

Anyway, if you are one of the unfortunate people I have had any of these conversations with, just know that I am not blaming you for anything. It’s just one of those bad luck situations.

I don’t expect people to know what to say to me. I am one to try and avoid a person for some time after I learn about a tragic situation they are dealing with. I am always afraid of saying something wrong or being awkward. But through this I have learned that the best response is usually a sincere, “I am sorry.” Offers of service are great, too, if you are really willing and able to help out, but don’t say it unless you mean it. Be careful with “been there, done that,” stories. Some people find it comforting to know that others have come through a difficult situation, but other times it can be taken as a message to “Get over it,” or “don’t take it so hard- bad things happen to everyone,” even if that is not how you mean it.

Our Little Family

This is our family. Life is never ordinary or boring. We are always faced with some new adventure, and they just keep getting bigger as we survive the previous obstacle. I would like to say that this blog will be witty and fun and give you a great laugh. Sometimes it will, but right now I write as an update to our newest challenge in which laughter is hard to come by.

But before I go into the heavy stuff, let me introduce the W.yatt family; Nei.l and I were married 6 years ago and we are so happy together. I really think we have the best marriage, at this point, of any one I know. Nei.l is a surgical tech for a dermatologist and I have been able to stay home with our 2 girls since I had our 2nd. I was a CNA and I loved my work on the neurotrauma unit at Primary Children’s Hospital, but love to be home with McK.enna and Ad.ele more.

Despite our interests in medicine, our passions lie in the arts. Nei.l is a great vocalist and sings tenor in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Currently he is preparing for auditions with the Metropolitan Opera. I paint and draw and have done a couple of children’s bedroom murals, of which I am pretty proud. I would love to write and illustrate children’s books someday.

McK.enna is our precoscious 4 year old. She is smart gorgeous and sassy and headstrong. She can be very helpful with her little sister… when she is not determined to make Ad.ele scream. Adele is 14 months old. She is a clown and loves to do anything to make you laugh. She has been a fresh breath to our lives. And then there is Trist.an. He is our son, expected in October in bittersweet anticipation. He was a surprise, but one we welcome with open arms- if only for a few short moments of our lengthy lives. You see, Trist.an has a severe heart defect, in which hope of treatment is dwindling. With each appointment, and new info, the prognosis becomes dimmer. But I will explain more in my next entry. This is the reason I started this blog.